The most important first step to fix broken relationship is both sides have to understand that making things right will take time, work, and effort.
Imagine a car that has been getting worse and worse over time. Signal after signal tells you that it’s time for a tune-up, but you ignore it and keep driving, causing more and more damage until one day the wheels fall off and you’re stuck and in desperate need of help.
Likewise, when a relationship gets to the point where it can be called “broken,” it’s about as good as that old, broken-down car. It’s important to realize that a lot has happened to damage the relationship to the point where it needs to be fixed.
Since many couples wait months or even years before getting help for their relationship, they need to be prepared to work on it for months or even years.
Use effective communication.
According to the psychologist, “Being open and honest about one’s thoughts and plans for the relationship and the future can restore or create a sense of safety” in the relationship.
It’s important to give each of you a chance to say what you want to say and what you think. Many failed relationships are caused by jealousy, misunderstandings, and ego, so don’t try to hide your worries. Each person in the relationship takes it in turns to talk about problems they have with the relationship to fix it.
If you’re the one talking, you’ll have to try to bring things up in a kind and gentle way. The point is not to blame or point fingers. To do this, you need to pay attention to your own thoughts and feelings. “I” statements are key here.
If you’re the one being listened to, you should try to pay attention and not jump in or talk over them. You’ll get your turn soon. After they talk, it’s your job to back up what they say.
They are in a vulnerable place, and the more you can validate their feelings, the more they will feel heard and the better the conversation will go. When it’s your turn to talk, you’ll want the same respect.
It’s also important to know that just because you’re talking about something doesn’t mean you have to agree with it 100 percent. But just because you don’t agree doesn’t mean you can’t respect the other person’s feelings.
Stop blaming your partner.
If you decide to stay in this relationship, you need to own that decision and back it up by doing your part, or whatever you can to keep the relationship going and make it stronger.
Think about what you assume you know about your partner and try to shut those thoughts down. If you want your relationship to move forward, you have to control how much these assumptions take over your thoughts when you’re upset.
I know this isn’t easy. In fact, it’s a skill that needs repeated practice. But if you want to improve things and have more intimate and frequent sex, these assumptions will hold you back.
You chose to be in a relationship with your partner, so it’s important to own that choice and be in charge of how you think. When anger grows out of frustration, it leads to a break between people.
Think about things from your partner’s point of view.
Since each person is different, they will see things in different ways. So try to look at the situation from your partner’s point of view. Think about how they’re different from you and what they’ve told you about how they feel. Try to see things from their point of view. This simple change in focus can have a big effect on how well you work as a team.
Still, you’re a team.
No matter who started the problem or did more to make it worse, successful couples deal with problems as a team.
Think of yourselves as a team. When things get hard, you need to remember that your partner is your other half. One of the best things about being in love is knowing that you don’t have to go through things alone. When you’re in love, you have a partner and a friend who can help you deal with hard feelings and situations. If you need to talk to someone, call your partner. When you need them, they should always be ready to listen.
For example, “Even though you bought that car without my permission and I’m really mad, now we have to figure out how to get out of debt.” The “we factor” is what she calls this. Even when they don’t like what the other person does, these couples can look at the big picture and remember that they love each other.
Don’t take your partner’s actions or words to heart if they could hurt you.
If you and your partner fight a lot and you often feel blamed or attacked, it’s normal to feel rejected and less important. When we feel this way, we often try to protect ourselves. This can show up as aggression, passive-aggression, distance, or being cold.
Sadly, none of these things are good for the relationship. So take a look. Look at the things you’re thinking when you feel rejected or attacked. Take control of these thoughts and find other ways to act that focus on connection instead of distance.
Forgiveness is important to fix your broken relationship
In the case of cheating, the person who was hurt must forgive both their partner and the person who did it. I do not mean lip service. I mean with your heart.
When my husband had an affair, I had to forgive myself for how I had treated him before the affair. I wasn’t there. I was a workaholic, so when he needed physical attention, I gave it to him, but I didn’t care about him emotionally. My bad. I learned my lesson.
Learn to forgive. Making mistakes is natural, but forgiving is divine. Well, you don’t have to be God to be able to forgive. But forgiving is the only way to get back together. Most importantly, if you are the one who forgives, it frees you from all the bad feelings and makes you feel light.
Recognize that you have emotional baggage.
Most of the time, how we react to our partner has nothing to do with them. Instead, it has to do with how we grew up and what we brought with us from past relationships.
The first step to fixing a relationship that has gone bad is to admit that you have problems. Most likely, fixing your relationship will require you to take a hard look at yourself and do the work you need to do to heal some of your old habits.
Taking the Situation and Your Partner into Account
In a relationship, it’s not the circumstances that are right or wrong, but the way you think about them that makes you helpless. Didn’t you see that when things were bad, people came together? Don’t you see that bad times make or break people?
How well we can change depends on how much we believe we can. We should always take advantage of good times and learn from bad ones. That’s how you and your partner can get along.
Here, you and your partner need to make time for each other by spending time together. Stop trying to change each other’s habits and instead look for something good in them. Expect only yourself to change, and get rid of the bad habits that are making your relationship fall apart.
Don’t let your partner be the center of your life.
It’s important to work on getting closer, but that shouldn’t take up all of your time.
Even if you miss the other person a lot, don’t forget about other things that are important to you. Keep up with your hobbies and interests. Being your own person is an important part of a happy and healthy relationship.
Independence is necessary to fix broken relationship
Try to figure out what is causing the anger and distance. Most of the time, one person isn’t independent enough to cause a relationship to end. Before someone can be in a healthy relationship, they need to be independent, emotionally stable, and happy on their own.
If they don’t, their partner’s happiness and ability to function depend on them, which is too much pressure for anyone to handle. No one can really handle the stress of having someone else’s happiness depend on them.
If both people are good on their own, it’s likely that they just didn’t talk to each other enough. Most likely, you didn’t talk to your partner because you cared about them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings. This is why it’s important to learn how to talk to each other in a healthy and helpful way if you want to have a good relationship that lasts.
Say you’re sorry to make things right.
One sign of a bad relationship is that both people see apologizing as a sign of weakness. Because of this, even if they want to, they don’t want to apologize.But if you want to make your relationship better, you have to get past these problems. Because if you don’t, you cut off the 1% chance of fixing a broken relationship.
If an apology is all it takes to fix a broken relationship, put away your pride and apologize to your partner for the mistakes you’ve made in the past.This will give your efforts to fix things a boost and make you feel better about yourself.
Responsibility is key to fix broken relationship
Always take the blame, even if you don’t think you did anything wrong. The other person is sure that you are, and taking responsibility will help you close the gap between how they see you and how you see yourself.
If you make a mistake, own up to it. If you cheated on your partner or broke their trust, it’s important to take full responsibility for what happened and understand how your actions hurt your partner.
Don’t get defensive or try to cover up your mistake, but don’t hate yourself either. You should take responsibility for it in a loving way that lets you start to rebuild trust.
Give your partner a chance to win back your trust.
Even though it’s okay to feel hurt and angry, you should still want to fix the relationship. Trust can’t be fixed until the person whose trust was broken gives their partner a chance to earn it back.
Don’t hide anything. If you cheated on your partner, the quickest way to get their trust back is to tell them everything. Your partner should be able to see your schedule, calendar, and contacts. Don’t hide things, even small ones, because it can make people feel like they can’t trust you.
Set aside time and space to talk.
Make sure the time works for both of you. Try something fun and active to do together for the first time. Try something new to find new ways to connect and relate to each other. This will help break up the routines and habits that are causing the two of you to drift apart.
Take a class together in massage or tantra. These things can give you and your partner a safe place to explore your sexuality and work on building your explicit sexual connection.
Build up the happy and fun times to make up for the bad memories you and your partner probably both have.
Don’t forget what made you fall in love. When you’ve been with the same person for a long time, it’s easy to let money, kids, or stress make you forget the good times you’ve had. Try to take a break from your normal routine and think about what you like about your partner and why you work well together. This will help you let go of the bad thoughts that may have been taking over lately and remember why you fell in love.
Look through old photo albums and talk about your childhood.
Couples therapy is a good idea to fix broken relationship
Individual and couple therapy are needed so that a professional can look at both the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship and the strengths and weaknesses of each person from a more objective point of view.
A good couple’s therapist can help both people in the relationship with how they feel. This means that the therapist is just as supportive of each person’s individual needs as they are. A good therapist doesn’t just assume that keeping the relationship going is good for both people or for either person.
Sometimes, it’s better for one or both people in a couple to break up. The therapist’s job is to help both people figure out for themselves what the best thing to do is for their own lives.
Finally, both of you want to fix a broken relationship.
The relationship won’t just get better on its own.
If you’ve tried to talk to your partner about his or her unwillingness and resistance, but he or she won’t take responsibility for his or her actions, won’t change, won’t put in the effort to work through it, and won’t put in the effort to go to therapy, it might be time to leave.
If the above things are in place, almost any problem can be solved. However, there is one problem that can never be fix a broken relationship: physical or mental abuse should never be accepted. People do change, but it’s not worth the risk to wait and hope for it.